Plants undergo impulsive fluid–structure interactions that influence pathogen transmission. In nature, raindrop impacts on leaves generate splash events that produce vortical structures capable of ejecting and dispersing over a thousand spores per drop. These initial vortices transport spores beyond the diffusive boundary layer, enabling entrainment into ambient winds. Subsequent leaf flutter further organizes the surrounding flow, with Lagrangian coherent structure analysis revealing hyperbolic and elliptical coherent structures that enhance dispersal efficiency and provide a quantitative framework for describing spore trajectories in complex, time-dependent flows. During onion cutting in kitchens, fracture of the layered epidermis and mesophyll drives violent droplet outbursts followed by ligament fragmentation. High-speed imaging and strain mapping show that blade sharpness and cutting speed govern droplet number and speed distributions. The onion’s tough epidermis stores elastic energy that, upon rupture, enhances aerosolization of fluids that may carry food-borne pathogens and make you cry.